Lyrics of my Life

I don't want a lot for Christmas...
There's just one thing I need.
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree.
I just want you for my own,
More than you could ever know...
Make my wish come true -
All I want for Christmas is
You!

I don't want a lot for Christmas...
There's just one thing I need.
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree.
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace.
Santa Claus won't make me happy,
With a toy on Christmas day.
I just want you for my own,
More than you could ever know.
Make my wish come true -
All I want for Christmas is you!
You baby!

I won't ask for much this Christmas;
I don't even wish for snow.
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe.
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick...
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeers click.
'Cause I just want you here tonight,
Holding on to me so tight...
What more can I do?
Baby all I want for Christmas is you!
Ooh baby!

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere!
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air...
And everyone is singing;
I hear those sleigh bells ringing!
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need?
Won't you please bring my baby to me?!

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas,
This is all I'm asking for.
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door.
Oh I just want you for my own,
More than you could ever know...
Make my wish come true...
Baby all I want for Christmas is...
You!!

All I want for Christmas is you... baby...


-----------------------
My favorite version of this song is in the movie Love Actually, where 10 year old Joanna (played by Olivia Olson) sings this at the school show. It always gets me in a festive holiday mood. However, it also pulls at my heartstrings because I want my baby here this Christmas as well. :-)

It's coming on Christmas,
They're cutting down trees.
They're putting up reindeer,
And singing songs of joy and peace...

Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.
But it don't snow here.
It stays pretty green.
I'm going to make a lot of money,
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene...

Oh, I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.
I wish I had a river so long,
I would teach my feet to fly...
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.
I made my baby cry...

He tried hard to help me,
You know, he put me at ease.
And he loved me so naughty,
Made me weak in the knees.
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on

I'm so hard to handle -
I'm selfish and I'm sad.
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had.

Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.
I wish I had a river so long...
I would teach my feet to fly...
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on.
I made my baby say goodbye...

It's coming on Christmas,
They're cutting down trees.
They're putting up reindeer,
And singing songs of joy and peace...
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on...



*Info on this song:
Original (I think) is by Joni Mitchell, but my favorite version is done by Robert Downey Jr. from when he was on Ally McBeal. Sarah Mclaughlin does a good version too.

Wrap me in a bolt of lightning...
Send me on my way still smiling.
Maybe that's the way I should go,
Straight into the mouth of the unknown.
I left the spare key on the table.
Never really thought I'd be able
To say I merely visit on the weekends.
I lost my whole life and a dear friend.

I've said it so many times,
I would change my ways -
No, nevermind...
God knows I've tried...

Call me a sinner, call me a saint.
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same.
Call me your favorite, call me the worst.
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt.
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way...

I finally put it all together,
But nothing really lasts forever.
I had to make a choice that was not mine,
I had to say goodbye for the last time.
I kept my whole life in suitcase,
Never really stayed in one place.
Maybe that's the way it should be,
You know I live my life like a gypsy.

I've said it so many times,
I would change my ways -
No, nevermind...
God knows I've tried...

Call me a sinner, call me a saint.
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same.
Call me your favorite, call me the worst.
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt.
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way...

I'll always keep you inside,
You healed my heart and my life...
And you know I try.

Call me a sinner, call me a saint.
Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same.
Call me your favorite, call me the worst.
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt.
It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way...
So, I'll be on my way...
So, I'll be on my way...

In a forest pitch-dark,
Glowed the tiniest spark.
It burst into flame -
Like me, like me

My name Isobel.
Married to myself...
My love Isobel.
Living by herself...

In a heart full of dust,
Lives a creature called lust.
It surprises and scares -
Like me, like me

My name Isobel.
Married to myself...
My love Isobel.
Living by herself...

When she does it she means to.
Moth delivers her message,
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence...
A simple excuse.

nana na nana
nana na nana

In a tower of steel,
Nature forges a deal
To raise wonderful hell -
Like me, like me

My name Isobel.
Married to myself...
My love Isobel.
Living by herself...

When she does it she means to.
Moth delivers her message,
Unexplained on your collar
Crawling in silence...
A simple excuse.

nana na nana
nana na nana
nana na nana
nana na nana

<Known as "My{Dsmbr" on the album>

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

This is my December
This is my snow-covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
(Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed)
And I
(Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that)
And I
(Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed)
And I
(Take back all the things I said to you)

And I’d give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I
(Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed)
And I
(Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that)
And I
(Just wish that I didn’t feel
Like there was something I missed)
And I
(Take back all the things that I said to you)

And I’d give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as <his> body once did.
All five horizons revolved around <his> soul
As the earth to the sun...
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn.

Ooh, and all I taught <him> was everything.
Ooh, I know <he> gave me all that <he> wore.
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds,
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play...
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin 'round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning...
How quick the sun can drop away...

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass,
Of what was everything.
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... yeah...
Uh huh... uh huh... ooh...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a star...
In somebody else's sky, but why...
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine?!

I was born with the wrong sign,
In the wrong house,
With the wrong ascendancy.
I took the wrong road,
That led to the wrong tendencies.
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme...
On the wrong day of the wrong week,
I used the wrong method with the wrong technique.

Wrong ... Wrong...

There's something wrong with me... chemically.
Something wrong with me ... inherently...
The wrong mix in the wrong genes.
I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means.
It was the wrong plan,
In the wrong hands,
The wrong theory for the wrong man!
The wrong eyes on the wrong prize...
The wrong questions with the wrong replies.

Wrong!  Wrong!

I was marching to the wrong drum,
With the wrong scum,
Pissing out the wrong energy.
Using all the wrong lines,
And the wrong signs,
With the wrong intensity.
I was on the wrong page of the wrong book,
With the wrong rendition of the wrong look.
With the wrong moon, every wrong night -
With the wrong tune playing 'till it sounded right, yeah...

Wrong!

Wrong
(Too long)
Wrong
(Too long)
Wrong!
(Too long)
Wrong!
(Too long)
Wrong!)
(Too long)

I was born with the wrong sign,
In the wrong house,
With the wrong ascendancy.
I took the wrong road,
That led to, the wrong tendencies.
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme...
On the wrong day of the wrong week,
I used the wrong method with the wrong technique.

Wrong...

I don't feel the way I've ever felt... I know...
Gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built: [I'm]* better now...
Anyone can find the same white pills.
It takes my pain away!

It's a lie... A kiss with open eyes -
And [he's] not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away.)
Nevermind; these are [horred]* times.
Oh oh oh...
I can't let it bother me.

I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment, every time I quit...

Anyone can see my every flaw; It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
It takes my pain away.

It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes -
And [he's] not breathing back.
Oh, anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away.)
Nevermind; these are [horred] times.
Oh oh oh...
I can't let it bother me.

I can't let it bother me.

It takes my pain away.

It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes -
And [he's] not breathing back.
Oh, anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away.)
Nevermind; these are [horred] times.
Oh oh oh...
I can't let it bother me...

Takes my pain
Takes my pain
Takes my pain
Takes my pain
Away


*Sometimes how we hear it in our heads before knowing the lyrics is more meaningful than the correct ones.

What I've kept with me and what I've thrown away...
And where the hell I've ended up on this glary, random day.
Were the things I really cared about just left along the way?
For being too pent up and proud...?

Woke up way too late, feeling hungover and old.
And the sun was shining bright, an' I walked barefoot down the road.
Started thinking about my old man; it seems that all men -
Wanna get into a car and go anywhere...

Here I stand - sad and free.
I can't cry and I can't see... what I've done...
God. . .what have I done?

Don't you know I'm numb, man, no I can't feel a thing at all,
'Cause it's all smiles and business these days and I'm indifferent to the loss.
I've faith that there's a soul somewhere who's leading me around.
I wonder if she knows which way is down...

Here I stand - sad and free.
I can't cry and I can't see... what I've done...
God. . .what have I done?

I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
It evaporated...see?

Blind man on a canyon's edge of a panoramic scene.
Or maybe I'm a kite that's flying high and random, dangling a string.
Or slumped over in a vacant room, head on a stranger's knee...
I'm sure back home they think I've lost my mind.

Here I stand - sad and free.
I can't cry and I can't see... what I've done...
God. . .what have I done?

Know me: broken by my master;
Teach thee on child of love hereafter...

Into the flood again...
Same old trip it was back then.
So, I made a big mistake -
Try to see it once my way.

Drifting body - It's sole desertion.
Flying, not yet... quite the notion.

Into the flood again...
Same old trip it was back then.
So, I made a big mistake -
Try to see it once my way.

Into the flood again...
Same old trip it was back then.
So, I made a big mistake -
Try to see it once my way.

Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Am I gone?
And left you here alone...
Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Am I gone?
And left you here alone.

If I would, could you?

Under the curtains, the exit sign glows.
Go now and no one will know.
If you try later, it may be too late.
Don't read the lines and get
Lost in the light on the stage.

Two lovers standing hand in hand..
Powerless to choose...
The I's are dotted, stars are crossed...
Alone against the muse.

It may look enticing,
But don't walk that line.
That's what they want you to try.
If you go chasing her spark in the night,
Don't call my name when they're
Laughing and you're in the fire!

Two lovers standing hand in hand..
Powerless to choose...
The I's are dotted, stars are crossed...
Alone against the muse.

Isn't there anything that we can do for a friend?
(Aren't you listening? Aren't you listening?)
Choking on pride, unable to think with his head!
(Can't you hear us? Can't you hear us?)
We see the big picture, we know the way It will end.
(Oh well I guess, oh well I guess...)
That sometimes we have to let go.
There's but one way for water to flow...
So just sit back and enjoy the show.

The ashes have settled,
Pawns have been played.
What was your part in the game?
The house now is silent...
What was your lot?
Did you rise up with the curtains or
Fall for the plot?

Oh, two lovers standing hand in hand..
Powerless to choose...
The I's are dotted, stars are crossed...
Alone against the muse.
Ohhh! Two lovers standing hand in hand..
Powerless to choose...
The I's are dotted, stars are crossed...
Alone against the muse.

Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am?
Won't you say something?
I need to get my bearings...
I'm lost...
And the shadows keep on changing!

And I'm haunted,
By the lives that I have loved,
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted...
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

Don't cry;
There's always a way.
Here in November in this house of leaves
We'll pray.
Please, I know it's hard to believe...
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees...
You and me -
And these shadows keep on changing

And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved...
And actions I have hated.
I'm haunted...
By the promises I've made...
And others I have broken...
I'm haunted...
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

Hallways... always

I'll always want you.
I'll always need you.
I'll always love you.

And I will always miss you...

Come here!
No I won't say please.
One more look at the ghost
Before I'm gonna make it leave.
Come here...
I've got the pieces here.
Time to gather up the splinters;
Build a casket for my tears.

I'm haunted...
(By the lives that I have loved)
I'm haunted...
By the hallways in this tiny room...
The echos there of me and you...
The voices that are carrying this tune...

Yeah, it goes away
All of this and more of nothing in my life
No colored clay
Individuality not safe

As of now I bet you've got me wrong
So unsure you run from something strong

I can't let go
Threadbare tapestry unwinding slow
Feel a tortured brain
Show your belly like you want me to

As of now I bet you've got me wrong
So unsure we reach for something strong

I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever...
Something's got to turn out right

You - sugar taste
Sweetness doesn't often touch my face
Stay if you please
You may not be here when I leave

As of now I bet you've got me wrong
So unsure we reach for something strong

I haven't felt like this in so long...
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
Strong, I haven't felt like this in so long
Wrong, in a sense too far gone from love
That don't last forever
Something's got to turn out right

I got a story; it's almost finished.
All I need is someone to tell it to.
Maybe that's you...

Our time is borrowed and spent too freely.
Every minute I have needs to be made up...but how?
I'm looking for a nice way to say "I'm out."
I want out!

I fall asleep with my friends around me...
...only place I know I feel safe.
I'm gonna call this home.

The open road is still miles away -
Hey, nothing serious...
We still have our fun.
...or we had it once.

Windows open and close.
That's just how it goes.

Don't it feel like sunshine after all...
The world we love forever gone...
We're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are.

I'm in love with the ordinary.
I need a simple space to rest my head...
everything gets clear.
Well, I'm a little ashamed for asking,
but just a little helps...
it gets me straight again...
helps me get over it (over it)...

It might seem like a dream,
but it's real to me.

Don't it feel like sunshine afterall...
The world we love forever gone...
We're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are.

You should see - the canals are freezing.
You should see me high...
You should just be here...
be with me here...
It doesn't seem there's hope for me;
I let you down.
But I won't give in now - not for any amount!

Don't it feel like sunshine afterall...
The world we love forever gone...
We're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are...

I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I'll hold it
You can share your so-called shame-filled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I'll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I'll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion I'll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leavin' out today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved...
Said why you always running in place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life;
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it's only for today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running in place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Here's my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me, it's all or none...

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl...

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl...

With one light on, in one room
I know you're up when I get home
With one small step upon the stair,
I know your look when I get back

if you were a king up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let me go?
For this queen you think you own...

Wants to be a Hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go.

The unread book and painful look
The TV's on, the sound is down
One long pause, then you begin
Oh look what the cat's brought in
If you were a king up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let me go
For this queen you think you own

Wants to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go, let me leave

For the crown you've placed upon my head feels too heavy now
And I don't know what to say to you, but I'll smile anyhow
And all the time I'm thinking, thinking...

I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go...

I want to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go, let me leave, let me go...

Young girl in the market
Music to the men
When the men leave
Her eyes are red
When her eyes are closed again
she sees the dark market of above (violins)

And she sings
'They say the most horrible things
But I hear violins, when I close my eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done'

Young boy in the market
Follows all the men
When the men leave
He's out of his head
When his eyes are closed again
he sees the dark market of above (violins)

And he sings
'They break the most beautiful things
But I hear violins, when I close my eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done
I look into your eyes
And I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done'

Young boy in the market
Sees the girl alone
And asks her
"Have you lost your way home?"
She sings
'You say the most beautiful things, just like my violins'

I look into your eyes
I am at the center of the sun
And I cannot be hurt
By anything this wicked world has done

'Cause
I hear violins
I hear violins

I hear violins
I hear violins
I hear ...violins